Recommended Reading

The books below may be helpful for male survivors of sexual abuse, partners, family members, supporters, advocates and professionals.

Some of these books are written directly for survivors. Others are written for partners, therapists or people trying to better understand the impact of sexual abuse on boys and men.

Please take your time with this material. Some of it may be confronting. Read slowly, pause when you need to, and reach out for support if anything feels too much.

Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse

Mike Lew

This is one of the most recognised books for male survivors of childhood sexual abuse. It speaks directly to men who have carried trauma, shame, confusion, anger, silence and the long-term effects of abuse.

The book explores how sexual abuse can affect identity, relationships, sexuality, trust, self-worth and the way men see themselves. It is practical, compassionate and survivor-focused.

Good for: male survivors, partners, supporters and professionals wanting to better understand the recovery journey.

Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After Boyhood Sexual Abuse

Richard B. Gartner

This book is written for men who were sexually abused as boys and are trying to understand how that abuse may still be affecting their lives.

Richard Gartner writes with clarity and compassion about betrayal, secrecy, shame, masculinity, emotional pain, relationships and healing. It is especially useful for men who are beginning to connect present struggles with what happened to them earlier in life.

Good for: male survivors who want a clear and supportive guide to understanding the impact of boyhood sexual abuse.

Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse

Dr Kelli Palfy

This is an important and accessible book about male sexual abuse, written by Dr Kelli Palfy, a registered psychologist and former police officer.

The book draws on the stories of male survivors and explores why so many boys and men remain silent. It looks at shame, avoidance, isolation, substance use, hyper-masculinity and the barriers that often stop men from seeking support.

It is also useful for parents, teachers, partners and professionals who want to better understand what male survivors may be carrying.

Good for: male survivors, supporters, parents, educators and helping professionals.

You Made Me This Way

Shannon Molloy

This Australian book is part memoir and part investigation into male child sexual abuse, trauma, silence and healing.

Shannon Molloy writes from lived experience and explores how childhood sexual abuse can shape a man’s life in ways that are not always obvious from the outside. The book looks at shame, secrecy, mental health, relationships and the cost of carrying trauma alone.

Because it is Australian, it may feel especially relevant for readers looking for a local voice and context.

Good for: male survivors, Australian readers, supporters and anyone wanting to understand the lived experience of male child sexual abuse.

Leaping Upon the Mountains: Men Proclaiming Victory Over Sexual Child Abuse

Edited by Mike Lew

This book brings together the voices and stories of male survivors.

Rather than being only a guide or professional text, it offers testimony, honesty and connection. For some men, reading the words of other survivors can be deeply powerful because it breaks the feeling of being alone.

This book can be especially helpful for survivors who need to see that other men have lived through similar pain and found ways to keep going.

Good for: male survivors who connect with personal stories and lived experience.

An Intersectional Guide for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse and Their Allies: Masculinity Reconnected

Jeremy Sachs

This is a newer book that looks at male sexual abuse through the lens of masculinity, shame, identity, trauma and healing.

It is written for survivors, allies and professionals, and it recognises that men’s experiences are shaped by more than the abuse itself. Culture, masculinity, sexuality, race, class, disability, gender expectations and silence can all affect how survivors understand themselves and whether they feel able to seek help.

Good for: survivors, allies, advocates and professionals looking for a more current and inclusive resource.

When a Man You Love Was Abused: A Woman’s Guide to Helping Him Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation

Cecil Murphey

This book is written for partners and loved ones of male survivors.

While the title is aimed at women, much of the content may also be useful for any partner or supporter trying to understand what a male survivor may be experiencing. It looks at the impact of childhood sexual abuse on relationships, trust, intimacy, anger, distance and communication.

It can help supporters understand that trauma responses are not always personal rejection. Sometimes they are survival patterns that began long before the current relationship.

Good for: partners, spouses and loved ones of male survivors.

Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child

Laura Davis

This book is not male-specific, but it is one of the better-known books for partners and supporters of survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

It helps loved ones understand trauma, boundaries, intimacy, communication, emotional triggers and the supporter’s own needs. It can be a useful companion for people who want to support a survivor without trying to rescue, fix or control their healing.

Good for: partners, family members and supporters.

Helping Male Survivors of Sexual Violation to Recover: An Integrative Approach

Sarah Van Gogh

This book is more suited to counsellors, therapists, social workers and professionals working with male survivors.

It places the experiences of men at the centre and explores how therapy can support recovery after sexual violation. It is especially useful for professionals who want to better understand the specific barriers male survivors may face, including shame, silence, masculinity and difficulty seeking help.

Good for: therapists, counsellors, practitioners, advocates and service providers.

Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men

Richard B. Gartner

This is a more clinical book than Beyond Betrayal, but it remains an important text for professionals working with male survivors.

It looks closely at the psychological impact of sexual abuse on boys and men, and how those impacts can appear in adult life. It may be less accessible for general readers, but valuable for therapists, researchers and those wanting a deeper professional understanding.

Good for: therapists, counsellors, researchers and professionals.

The Body Keeps the Score

Bessel van der Kolk

This book is not specifically about male survivors, but it is widely read by people trying to understand trauma and the body.

It explains how trauma can affect the nervous system, memory, emotions, the body, relationships and a person’s sense of safety. For male survivors, it can help explain why trauma is not simply something that happened in the past. It can continue to live in the body and nervous system.

Good for: survivors, supporters and anyone wanting to understand trauma more broadly.

Trauma and Recovery

Judith Herman

This is a foundational book in trauma literature.

It is not male-specific, but it helps explain trauma, power, silence, captivity, recovery and the importance of safety and connection. It can be especially useful for people who want to understand sexual abuse in a broader social and psychological context.

Good for: survivors, advocates, students, professionals and people wanting a deeper understanding of trauma.

When Trauma Enters the Room: A Guided Workbook for Survivors and Their Partners

Steven Neeland

This workbook was created from a lived-experience perspective for male survivors, partners and relationships.

It is designed to help people slow things down, find language, understand how trauma can show up in relationships, and begin conversations that are often hard to start.

It is not a clinical text and does not replace therapy. It is a practical, trauma-informed resource for survivors and partners trying to better understand what happens when trauma enters the room.

Good for: male survivors, partners, couples and supporters wanting a practical workbook-style resource.