The Importance of Men Sharing Their Stories of Sexual Abuse: A Path to Healing

In a world where discussions around sexual abuse often focus on women, the stories of men who have experienced abuse are sometimes overshadowed. Yet, the silence surrounding male sexual abuse survivors can be devastating, leaving many to grapple with their trauma in isolation. The importance of men telling their stories is not just a matter of visibility—it is a crucial step in the healing process, both emotionally and neurologically.

The Silence Around Male Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is not confined to one gender, and the idea that it only affects women is a harmful myth. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, an estimated 1 in 6 boys will experience some form of sexual abuse before the age of 18. Despite these alarming numbers, societal expectations of masculinity often discourage men from speaking up. Men are conditioned to appear strong, stoic, and emotionally invulnerable, leading to a toxic cycle of repression.

Many men may fear that sharing their stories will result in shame, disbelief, or emasculation. This silence, however, doesn’t just isolate survivors—it hinders the healing process. Research increasingly shows that telling one’s story can profoundly affect emotional well-being, and there’s a growing body of evidence that it also aids in neurological recovery.

How Sharing Your Story Affects the Brain

Talking about trauma isn’t just emotionally beneficial; it’s also neurologically restorative. When men can tell their stories of abuse, it can have a direct impact on how their brains process and recover from trauma.

1.        Breaking the Cycle of Suppression

One of the key mechanisms in trauma is the brain’s tendency to suppress distressing memories to protect the individual from pain. However, when memories are constantly pushed down, they remain unresolved. Over time, this suppression can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms like headaches or muscle tension.

By sharing their experiences, men can disrupt this cycle of suppression. Talking about trauma allows the brain to process these memories in a safer context, reducing their emotional intensity over time. Studies have shown that verbalizing traumatic experiences helps to decrease the activity in the amygdala—the brain’s fear centre—while increasing activity in the prefrontal cortex, which helps with rational thinking and emotional regulation.

2. Rewriting the Trauma Narrative

When trauma occurs, it is often encoded in the brain in a fragmented and disjointed way, making it difficult for survivors to make sense of what happened. This can lead to intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and a sense of confusion. Sharing one’s story, whether through therapy, support groups, or personal writing, helps organise these traumatic memories into a coherent narrative.

Neuroscience suggests that telling your story in a structured way helps the brain integrate these fragmented memories. This process of re-narrating trauma can make the experience feel less overwhelming and help the individual regain a sense of control.

3. Stimulating Neuroplasticity

The human brain is incredibly adaptable, a quality known as neuroplasticity. This means that even after significant trauma, the brain has the capacity to rewire itself and form new neural connections. By actively engaging in storytelling and sharing their abuse, men can create new emotional and cognitive pathways. These pathways help the brain process trauma in healthier, less harmful ways.

For example, a man who has been living with the internal narrative that he is weak because of his abuse may, through storytelling, begin to reshape that narrative. In a supportive environment, he can recognise his resilience and strength in surviving the trauma. This shift in mindset is not just a change in perspective—it’s a neurological change as well.

4. Building Connections and Reducing Isolation

The act of telling one’s story, especially in a group or therapeutic setting, fosters connection. Humans are wired for connection, and isolation can exacerbate the emotional wounds of trauma. When a man tells his story and is met with understanding, empathy, and support, the brain releases oxytocin—a hormone associated with bonding and trust. This neurochemical reaction counteracts the effects of stress hormones like cortisol, creating a sense of calm and safety.

Sharing stories of abuse can also normalise the experience for other men, encouraging them to come forward and break their own silence. It creates a ripple effect that challenges the stigma surrounding male sexual abuse and fosters a supportive community for healing.

Why Telling Your Story Matters

For men who have experienced sexual abuse, telling their story can feel like an overwhelming task. The fear of not being believed, of being judged, or of reliving the trauma is real. But the benefits of breaking the silence are undeniable, both emotionally and neurologically. Speaking up is not a sign of weakness—it is a courageous step toward healing.

By sharing their stories, men not only help themselves but contribute to a broader cultural shift that recognizes and validates the experiences of male survivors. It sends a message that men’s pain is real, that their stories matter, and that healing is possible.

Conclusion: A Call to Speak Out

The silence surrounding male sexual abuse can be broken, and it starts with men telling stories. For those who have been holding your pain inside, know that sharing your story is not only a powerful act of courage but a path to emotional and neurological healing. It is a way to reclaim your narrative, process your trauma, and begin the journey toward recovery.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual abuse, it’s important to seek support. Reach out to a therapist, join a support group, or confide in someone you trust. Healing is possible, and it begins with telling your story.

Warriors of the night (A Poem)

In the shadows of the night, they bear the weight, Silent screams, echoes of their fate. Invisible scars, hidden from view, Male survivors, warriors steadfast and true.

Haunted by horror, in the darkest of days, Yet within, a fire forever ablaze. Through pain's grasp, they find their strength, Emerging from ashes, they go to any length.

We are the voices, rising high, Through storms, touching the sky. From the depths, reclaiming might, Male survivors, shining in the light.

Broken and bruised, they persist, Resilient souls, unwavering amidst. Through trials faced, they forge their way, Transforming agony into power they display.

No more victims, but victors standing tall, Their journey, a testament to righting the wrongs of all. In unity, their voices merge, Male survivors, guiding lights to emerge.

We are the voices, rising high, Through storms, touching the sky. From the depths, reclaiming might, Male survivors, shining in the light.

Through tears and fears, standing clear, No shadows to bind, no more held by fear. Rising boldly, wearing crowns of might, Male survivors, breaking barriers with their might.

Now they stand, a force unveiled, Their stories of courage forever hailed. Turning pain to power, they rise, Male survivors, with unwavering eyes.

So hear their anthem, resounding and proud, In their strength, darkness is bowed. United in resilience, they stand tall, Male survivors, breaking barriers, shattering walls.

We are the voices, rising high, Through storms, touching the sky. From the depths, reclaiming might, Male survivors, shining in the light.

In the face of adversity, finding grace, Male survivors, in their powerful embrace. Through horrors endured, reclaiming life, Rising, thriving amidst the strife.

When the abuser is a woman

This is an article that I wanted to write for sometime. A few years ago I attended a workshop on Trauma, in particular Trauma related to sexual abuse. It was actually my first workshop that I attended after disclosing that I had been sexually abused. So you can imagine that I was filled with a huge amount of anxiety and trepidation.

The day started well enough, introductions were made by the presenters and we all had an opportunity to introduce ourselves around the room. And then it hit me, out of around 30 participants at the workshop, there were only four male survivors and we all gravitated towards each other, in the hope that we could find understanding and a certain amount of relief that we had "found: each other. 

The time had come for our table to make our introductions. The anxiety at the table was palpable. As each of us went around the table, we listened intently and supported each other with knowing nods. As men we felt like outcasts, a small minority in a group of survivors. 

Gary (not his real name) was the last to introduce himself. I had a feeling that his introduction was going to be a little different to our own. He was certainly nervous, but I sensed a determination in him. He took a deep breathe and introduced himself to the worksop. He was a survivor of sexual abuse, but unlike anyone else, the abuser was a woman. What I was not expecting was the reaction of the room! You could sense the reaction of the room. Some of the participants rolled their eyes, others chose otter their backs. Gary sat down and looked deflated and defeated and worst of all distressed.

Which brings me to the topic of women who perpetrate sexual abuse on boys. We first of all have to understand that when a boy is sexually abused by a woman, he suffers a different type of confusion, isolation and shame than other abused boys. In society, particularly Australian society, this type of sexual activity between an older woman and a young boy is not seen as abusive. 

Indeed, it is viewed in society as almost as a "right of passage" into manhood or "scoring". There are plenty of examples in the way that society views this form of sexual abuse. Its payed out on films, TV shows, games and on the internet. A boy that talks about his kind of abuse (which sadly sent many) is often greeted, the same as Gary, with disbelief, denial, trivialising and some kind of romanising by the general public, police, media etc. faced with this, these survivors choose not to speak out. And in some cases he may try and redefine his experience to fit in to what societies perceptions are, even joking about it. 

And here's the dilemma who boys who have been sexually abused by a woman. Not knowing how to cope with the shame and guilt and expectations that society has placed on this type of abuse, he will push the abuse into the far reaches of his mind and will sometimes lose memories of it until later in life. 

Society commonly dismisses a Child's report of abuse by a woman as fantasy or exaggeration. If we are to deal with abuse effectively, we, as a society, must create a culture that recognises all sexual for that it is. Child sexual abuse is harmful and horrific regardless of the gender the perpetrator is.

Gary bravely shared his story to me that day. He spoke of the horrifying abuse at the hands of his mother. His battles with drugs to try and numb the pain of that happened to him. His battle with steady employment and trying to navigate the mental health system. His inability to make friendships and the isolation he felt everyday. He was an inspiration to me and to the there men who attended that worksop. We exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch and support each other.

Sadly a few weeks later, I received a message from one of our group, letting me know that Gary had committed suicide.

So this article is dedicated to Gary.

Why society "nourishes" the silence of survivors of sexual abuse

I was about six years old when I was first sexually abused. My father performed oral sex on me and made me perform oral sex on him. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was an innocent child. As painful and horrendous that act and those to follow were, I needed to learn very quickly how to keep dark and painful secrets from my siblings and my mother, otherwise the consequences would be more than severe.

Horrendous acts of sexual, physical and emotional abuse continued until the age of ten. I call it the “reign of terror”, something that still haunts me to his day. I don’t know how many times I was sexually abused, I didn’t count and didn’t want to count.

Along with the sexual abuse, came the “torture” sessions. My father had a hideaway in the garage. A room with a specific purpose of creating fear and physical abuse just for me. Many things went on in that god forsaken dungeon, things that I still can’t verbalise because its still too raw. But I do remember that for my own survival and that of my mother, I would keep silent through all of it and take whatever was given. You see I was a plaything to him, something that he needed to keep alive just, so that the game would never end.

I’d never felt so alone in my life and at the age of nine, I unnsuccessfully tried to take my own life. I was never taught that my body was “mine”, I was taught that it was someone else's .

There are many of us out there, more than there should be. Many of us still hide in the shadows, protecting ourselves from prying eyes and trying to maintain a “normal” life. We are all courageous, resilient and worthy. But we live in constant fear knowing that when we disclose our very deepest secrets, that we will be judged by our family, friends and our society.

We feel shame, guilt , fear and dirty. Most of us try to cope the best we can, some of us use alcohol and drugs to ease our pain. We often isolate ourselves from a world that still stigmatises us, from family and friends and our loved ones. We struggle with finding value in ourselves each and everyday. We sometimes put on “masks” in order to not to reveal the complexities of what happened two us and so that we can avoid the stigma that still permeates in our society.

We watch the news and see stories like ours which go unpunished though a justice system that views us as “unreliable” or at worst liars. We tremble with fear when the justice system dishes out lenient sentences to rapists and then society wonders why most of us don’t want to report the abuse.

I’m often met with amazement that I don’t reinforce people’s image of a survivor of sexual abuse. It can get extremely lonely for survivors as they struggle to connect with others who enable them to be honest, accept them unconditionally and don’t silence them further by promoting their own agendas and expectations.  Our society still nourishes the silence of survivors through a refusal to accept the truth and show compassion and empathy towards them is a cancer that is as devastating as the abuse itself.

As survivors heal they acknowledge to themselves and others that they‘ve been abused and find their voice, which they denied during the abuse in order to survive. Today, I have to relearn the what my values are and the ones that I already have, I am uncompromising about. As I discover myself and heal from the past, I know that I tough decisions will need to be made.

So how do we make real and fundamental changes to society that “nourishes” the silence of survivors? Well, we need more survivors to speak out without feeling guilt, shame and fear. For society to have an open and honest discussion about sexual abuse and most importantly, for survivors to feel as though they have been listened to.

Complex Trauma or Complex PTSD

Complex Truma or Complex PTSD

WOUNDEDBOYSHEROICMEN·WEDNESDAY, 13 MAY 2020

Hi everyone,

I took small break from posting as it hasn’t been the greatest of weeks mental health wise.

I thought that I might touch a little bit on complex trauma or complex PTSD today, as it’s something that I suffer from and seems that there is a little confusion about what it is and how it affects male survivors of sexual abuse.

So what is it? Most people with trauma-related problems have experienced multiple traumas like myself . The term, complex trauma describes exposure to multiple traumas. It also refers to the impacts of that exposure.

Complex trauma:

· is usually interpersonal i.e. occurs between people

· involves ‘being or feeling’ trapped

· is often planned, extreme, ongoing and/or repeated

· often has more severe, persistent and cumulative impacts

· involves challenges with shame, trust, self-esteem, identity and regulating emotions.

· has different coping strategies. These include alcohol and drug use, self-harm, over- or under-eating, over-work etc.

· affects emotional and physical health, wellbeing, relationships and daily functioning

In what situations does complex trauma occur?

Complex trauma commonly occurs with repeated trauma against a child. Sometimes a parent or caregiver has experienced their own trauma, which is still affecting them e.g. from mental illness, drugs and alcohol misuse, or being physically or emotionally unavailable. Many situations can cause complex trauma in childhood.

Complex childhood trauma can be especially damaging. This is not always the case. This includes all forms of child abuse, neglect, adverse childhood experiences, community violence – domestic and family violence, civil unrest, war trauma or genocide, cultural dislocation, sexual exploitation and trafficking.

Complex trauma is not always the result of childhood trauma. It can also occur as a result of adults’ experience of violence in the community e.g. domestic and family violence, civil unrest, war trauma or genocide, refugee and asylum seeker trauma, sexual exploitation and trafficking, extreme medical trauma and/or re-traumatisation.

What Trauma has taught me surviving a pandemic

What trauma has taught me about surviving a pandemic

WOUNDEDBOYSHEROICMEN·THURSDAY, 16 APRIL 2020·3 MINUTES3 reads

I find myself asking myself these days, What does it take to survive a pandemic? Waiting mostly, and if nothing kills you and nothing hurts you, you make it out alive. In a way that you don't have to do anything to heal a cut, just let time pass.

So in this upside-down topsy turvy world that we are lying in at the moment, I let time happen to me, slowly letting it wash over me like the ocean. My concentration is affected, I tend to read the same lines over and over again, my brain not registering the words that are set out in front of me. Sometimes, at night when the worst of my “fishes” swim past my eyes (a great friend of mines analogy!) I think about the universe and all of its dark secrets wrapped up in the shimmering diamonds in the sky. And just like that, it falls out of my brain like it never existed. The fog takes over again and those fishes return for another run.

I have always been good at waiting. Isolation is both a comfort and a curse. It reminds me so much of the enforced isolation that I experienced when I was sexually abused and tortured. So much I see and feel that are the same, sometimes the fear comes back to haunt me, dangling in front of my eyes. Then the depression sets in, of course I have better tools these days to deal with such events, but I find myself sometimes walking around like a zombie with images in my head. The rest of the world doesn't know and sometimes doesn't want to know. Outwardly I seem like any other member of my family, caring, passionate and attentive. But as the days go on, reminders are everywhere.

I have my autopilot switched on. I do what is necessary to survive. Its a mode that my mind is automatically used to. It wants to protect me from the fear. Its been 35 years since I was brutally raped and tortured, almost on a weekly or daily basis, or whatever suited my Father and yet I am only at the beginning of my journey.

I know that this journey is a marathon not a sprint. Its complex and draining. You question yourself on a daily basis. And you try to live your life.

I hated disclosing the assault to people originally. I was afraid of what people would think, particularly the men that I knew in my life. The shame, guilt, the anger, the frustration with myself and with others. Its played out both emotionally and physically. My body and brain are constantly tired.

I have lived this way for so long that I forget that it could have been different. That I deserved more then and that I deserve more now. We all deserve more.

Our lives are not going back to normal, as one way of being has been abruptly and unilaterally aborted, without our consent. Instead, we’re left with grief for the ten of thousands of lives lost, trillions of dollars evaporated and a future of promise that was wiped out of an entire generation. This represents the stark reality of survivors of sexual abuse. It’s something that we live with on a daily basis.

I survived being raped and tortured, I will live through this, I will get out of bed. To break up the days I will ride my bike around the lake, take my dogs for a walk up the mountain, I will play with my kids, I will eat meals and spend time with friends. I stick by the decisions that I have made. I stand by the person I was before the pandemic and I stand by the person I was as a child. We all need to do this.

Trauma and the brain

Trauma and the brain

WOUNDEDBOYSHEROICMEN·THURSDAY, 2 APRIL 2020·2 MINUTES2 reads

For me knowing how the brain is affected by trauma is a useful tool that is aiding in my path to recovery. Its helped me understand what I have been experiencing and how it effects me in my day to day life.

Outlined below in a very simplistic explanation of a very complex process and a psychologist, a GP or Psychiatrist will be able to provide you with more information. There are three main parts of the brain that are greatly affected by experiencing severe traumatic events.

Hippocampus

• The Hippocampus processes trauma memories, by recycling the memory, mostly at night via dreams, which takes place over weeks or months. It then transfers the integrated store memory to another part go the brain. High levels of stress hormones causes the hippocampus to shrink or under-develop, resulting in impaired function. Childhood trauma exaggerates this effect. The trauma memory therefor remains unprocessed in the hippocampus, disintegrated, fragmented, and feels “current” rather than in the past. (Some people may be born with a smaller hippocampus making them more vulnerable to develop PTSD.)

Amygdala

• The brain’s “fear centre”. The amygdala helps to store memories, particularly emotions and physical sensations. It also controls the activation of stress hormones - the body’s fight or flight response. In PTSD, the amygdala becomes over-active causing frequent or near constant levels of stress hormones.

Pre-frontal cortex

• The pre-frontal cortex helps us to asses threats, manage emotion, plan responses and control impulses. It is the centre of rational thinking. Childhood trauma causes under-development of the pre-frontal cortex, who results in impaired ability to assess threat through rational thinking, manage emotions and control impulses.

PTSD

Current triggers

Hippocampus recalls part of fragmented and disintegrated memory – thought, image etc

Amygdala reacts – emotional and body memory reactivated – ‘flashback’ re-experiencing of event. Interprets as current threat – emergency - stress hormones – fight / flight response

Pre-frontal cortex unable to rationalise or determine that situation is not a current threat and therefore safe. Difficulty in managing emotions or controlling impulses

Attempts to escape or avoid distressing memories and feelings mean the memory is never processed, so symptoms remain

How to support a Friend or Loved one who has been sexually abused

WOUNDEDBOYSHEROICMEN·MONDAY, 30 MARCH 2020·7 MINUTES2 reads

It's been quite a difficult last coupe of years for male survivors of sexual abuse. If you know a man who is a survivor of males sexual abuse here are some tips to best support them in their recovery.

Its an especially difficult time be be a male survivor of sexual abuse or assault on top of the daily struggle to stay safe and healthy, male sexual abuse survivors also have to contend with the endlessly triggering news cycle and their own internal struggles of questioning themselves about who they are and the ever present question of there own masculinity.

If you are not a survivor yourself but are close to one - maybe a partner, a close friend or a family member - you may not be able to fully understand what they all fully gong through, you could possibly feel confused to lost about how to best support them. Here is a little guide of things that you may need to know to be supportive in there healing journey. Remember that everyone is an individual in their healing journey, so you will probably need to play around with this guide.

Listen to their story (if they want to talk)

If your partner or friend or family member seems to be struggling, let them know you're available if they need to talk. Remember that male survivors find it exceedingly difficult to speak about trauma as they are already fighting an internal struggle with masculinity. Remember to focus fully on them! That means no distractions, like phones, TVs or anything that would make them think that you're not paying attention to that they have to say. If you haven't already, listen to their story, if they are ready to tell you. Remember that they may also want to express their anger, frustration, fear, sadness or grief. Remember not to pressure them into talking or telling you their story, but let them know you're open to listening to whatever they want to share. Men are particularly vulnerable at this stage, they are fighting continuously about divulging abuse. An environment of trust and non-judgement is extremely important to them.

It’s recommended that you ask -especially if that person is your romantic partner - if they want physical contact (like holding hands or a hug) as they tell their story, but otherwise default to giving them physical space while they speak. Just telling their story is emotionally daunting, and it can and probably will bring back memories of the abuse.

The most important thing to remember is “Don't let your own feelings of anger to sadness get in the way of being there fro your partner of friend” Getting angry, even at the person who did this to your friend or loved one won't help. Inn fact, it could just scare your friend or partner into closing off the conversation. You're job isn't to “fix” your friend or partner, make them feel better, or take away their pain. Your job is simply to listen and acknowledge.

Its especially important to believe your friend, family member or partners story. It's a sad fact that it has to be said, but thats the climate that we’re in with now. Let them know that above all, you believe them.

Some possible responses that you might want to try, but remember its not an exhaustive one:

1. “Thank you for sharing.”

2. “You are not to blame for what happened to you”

3. You didn't deserve what happened to you.”

4. “Im sorry this happened to you.”

5. “You are not what was done to you.”

6. “That was abuse, not healthy sexuality”

7. “ I support you in your healing.”

8. “ I resect you for addressing this.”

9. “I love you.”

Educate yourself

While every male survivor and each story is unique, its useful and important that you educate yourself on the impacts of male sexual abuse and sexual abuse in general. The following point is extremely important, it is absolutely not the responsibility of a survivor to educate you - especially than its so easy to read more on your own - and being better informed beforehand will make you a better partner in recovery. Books are a great place to start.

Some recommended titles include “Allies in Healing: When The person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child” by Laura Davis and others specifically geared towards male sexual abuse survivors. I will be providing a list shortly via this page.

The impacts of sexual abuse can be extremely difficult to understand if you haven't experienced the abuse yourself, and it may help to learn some of the common impacts that abuse can have on a loved one. Below are some common impacts. This is by no means an exhaustive list, and please remember that each survivors experience is unique.

1. Dissociation: A survivor’s body can be physically present, but their mid can be in a completely different place, especially during intimate moments.

2. Getting Triggered: Survivors might jump or tense up when someone gets too close, even if its someone they love and trust. Certain words, actions, sounds, gestures or even smells could send them into a heightened state of agitation and possibly “flashbacks”. Many sexual abuse survivors can also be hypervigilant.

3. Difficulty making healthy decisions: Some sexual abuse survivors find it tricky to make healthy decisions about their sex lives after the abuse, particularly men. They may have poor body image or low self esteem. They may find themselves becoming intimate with people who don't respect them, or in stations that feel unsafe.

4. Low libido or avoidance of sex: Many survivors don't want to resist specific activities that traumatised them and may completely avoid sex.

5. Shame: Many survivors feel as if they're broken or damaged goods. Male sexual abuse survivors can feel a different kind of shame, since male sexual abuse isn't discussed nearly as often, and carries a different kind of stigma.

Remember this list shouldn't be used to diagnose your ,loved one, but rather, to give you a foundation if your loved one wants to discuss ways the abuse may affect their life.

Be an ongoing source of support

Your friend or loved one is most likely going to continue having reactions to the news, family dinner conversations, intimacy or even seemingly random events. Depending on how much trauma a survivor goes through, will depend on how long the healing journey will be. Here's what you can do in those moments:

1. Keep listening. Dot try and give advice or fix the problem. Just listen.

2. Let them feel their feelings. It can be extremely difficult to see someone you love in pain, but they need space to express themselves. Don't say things like, “Cheer up” or “Don't cry.” Stay by their side as they work through their feelings.

3. Let you loved one know you're on their team. Tell them that you're happy to turn off the TV, your mobile, get out of the ouse or leave an event with them.

4. Ask if you're friend or loved one needs anything from you. They may not always have an answer, but its nice to make it clear that you want to be supportive and engaged.

Practice self-care

Encourage your loved ones to get as much support that they can. This might include engaging a GP, a psychologist and even/or a psychiatrist.

However, it is ultimately up toy our loved one to make their own decisions about the healing process. While healing is a process you can participate in, its not something you can control or make happen. Survivors heal on their own timelines, based on their own readiness and motivation. Healing is more likely to take place when the survivor leads, and you work as a team together - both partners in the healing process.

Its also really important for you to get your own support. Sometimes people who love survivors can go through some kind of parallel process themselves, often with less support, fewer resources, and feeling that they don't deserve the support because it wasn't done to you. Understand that you may have your own reactions to hear the story of someone you loved being abused. And you also deserve and need support.

Honour their recovery

Recovering from sexual abuse is a long process that is never truly over. The both to recovery can also look different for each survivor.

Probably the biggest gift that you can give your you can give is to be patient! Along the way t is important for you and your loved one to acknowledge and honour the hard work. You can do an activity together after each therapy session, or you can get away for a weekend where the news cycle or anything else becomes too much to bare. The healing process can feel like two steps forward, one step back, but nay kind of progress deserves recognition.

PTSD in Men Who Have Been Sexually Assaulted

WOUNDEDBOYSHEROICMEN·TUESDAY, 17 MARCH 2020·8 MINUTES1 read

So what is PTSD and what effect does it have on Men who have been sexually assaulted?

PTSD is characterized by flashbacks of the traumatic event, avoidance behaviors related to the trauma, negative emotions, and hyper-arousal, among others. Although women are more likely to experience sexual assault, there are a few factors that may make recovery from sexual assault more difficult for men, including:

• Men are more likely to endorse rape myths.

• Males are less likely to disclose that they have been sexually abused.

• Males experience higher levels of stigma for being rape survivors.

Although sexual assault can happen to anyone, males who have been victimized may have additional challenges because of social attitudes and stereotypes surrounding masculinity. They may also be more likely to abuse substances as a result of their trauma, so any treatment they receive for their PTSD would possibly ned to take int account treatment for substance abuse.

In the Australia, the prevalence of sexual assault can be frightening for young people. Like women, men can experience complex emotional problems such as depression and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following a traumatic event like sexual assault or abuse.

Research shows that rape, in particular, is one of the most traumatic forms of trauma a person—male or female—can experience, which significantly increases the odds of developing PTSD after the event. While women are statistically more likely to exhibit symptoms of PTSD after a sexual assault, men do as well, though they are less likely to report the assault as the reason for their emotional distress. Failing to disclose their rape often leads to feelings of denial, shame, and guilt, which can also create a barrier to seeking treatment, placing boys and men at risk for developing more severe emotional problems, with the possibility of men using alcohol or drugs to mass the emotional pain.

So what does the DSM5 have to say about PTSD? According to the to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), all of the following criteria are required for a diagnosis of PTSD:4

Criteria A (1 required): The person was exposed to: death, a person threatening death, actual or threatened serious injury, or actual or threatened sexual violence, in the following ways:

• Direct exposure

• Indirect exposure to trauma, usually through a person’s career (e.g. first responder, medic, EMT, nurse, doctor, firefighter)

• Witnessing the trauma

• Learning that a relative or close friend was exposed to a trauma

Criteria B (1 required): The person continues to experience the traumatic event, in the following ways:

• Nightmares

• Flashbacks

• Emotional distress after exposure to traumatic reminders

• Physical reactivity after exposure to traumatic reminders

• Unwanted memories

Criteria C (1 required): The person avoids triggers that are related to the trauma, including:

• Things that remind them of the trauma

• Trauma-related feelings or thoughts

Criteria D (2 required): The person has negative thoughts or feelings that become worse after the trauma in the following ways:

• They are unable to recall specifics about the trauma

• They have extremely negative thoughts and assumptions about themselves or the world

• Negative affect (emotions)

• Trouble experiencing positive affect

• They experience exaggerated blaming of themselves or others for causing the traumatic event to occur

• Decreased interest in activities

• Feeling alone or isolated

Criteria E (2 required): The person experiences arousal related to the trauma, in the following ways:

• Hypervigilance (pathologically increased awareness and sensory sensitivity)

• Feeling aggressive or irritable

• Engaging in destructive or risky behavior

• Being easily startled

• Trouble sleeping

• Difficulty concentrating

Criteria F (required): These symptoms last longer than 1 month.

Criteria G (required): These symptoms create distress or functional impairment in a person’s life (e.g., their relationships, career, finances, legal standing).

Criteria H (required): These symptoms are not brought on because of substance abuse, physical illness, medication, or other factors.

It is important to note that although a diagnosis strictly for PTSD indicates that substances are not responsible for the symptoms exhibited, very often, a person can abuse substances in response to their trauma.

There are also 2 types of specifications for a PTSD diagnosis, including:

• Dissociative Specification: If a person experiences high levels of either of the following as a reaction to trauma-related triggers, they may meet the criteria for diagnosis of this specification:Depersonalization: The person feels as if they are experiencing their life from the outside—as an outside observer. This out-of-body experience can make a person feel detached from their body and mind (e.g., feeling as if they are in a dream or as if this is not happening to them).
  Derealization: Similar to depersonalization in that a person experiences distance or distortion in their reality. They may experience feelings that things are not real, or this is just a dream.

• Delayed Specification: A person may not meet every diagnostic criterion until at least 6 months after the traumatic event occurs. At this point, however, they may begin experiencing symptoms of PTSD immediately.

How Does this Happen and What Is the Reaction?

For anyone—male or female—you can’t simply pinpoint when someone is going to be assaulted. For some people, the assault takes place when they are children and more vulnerable to abuse. The sexual assault may have taken place at the hands of someone in a position of power relative to them, such as an older cousin, a coach, a family member, a religious leader, or a teacher. Often, the perpetrator uses special attention, small bribes, or gifts to coerce a young boy or man into the act.5

When a boy or man is the victim of sexual assault, they may experience a number of reactions. This is a list of common experiences shared by males who have been sexually assaulted:6

• Avoiding sex altogether

• Being unable to relax

• Worrying about telling people about the assault

• Shame

• Guilt

• Feeling like “less of a man” because of the event

• Questioning their sexual orientation

• Isolating or withdrawing from others

• Becoming more aggressive

• Fear

Researchers of behavioral treatments have taken note that men and women respond to the trauma of sexual assault differently in some ways.

How Rape Myths Lead to Shame

Researchers have found that men are more likely than women to endorse rape myths. What’s a rape myth? It is an idea that males are the perpetrators of sexual assault and that men should be dominant, masculine, heterosexual, and strong. It also perpetuates the notion that men cannot be raped and if a man is raped, it is not as severe compared to when a woman is raped. Unfortunately, men who have grown up around these myths end up feeling that they did something wrong, or that they were not strong enough to prevent it from happening. Many men cannot accept that the sexual assault happened at all. But the truth is, men become victims of sexual assault in the same ways that women do.

What Treatment Methods Are Most Effective?

Recovering from sexual assault and related PTSD is a highly personal experience. PTSD is a condition that can manifest in many different ways, and it’s important to know that recovery doesn’t mean the survivor will forget the experience or never experience PTSD symptoms ever again. Instead, a successful recovery from PTSD is more subjective. For some, recovery may look like gaining back a sense of control and ownership of their life and forgiving themselves for any shame, guilt, or regret they feel about the incident. During recovery, a survivor may work on staying present and learning ways to reduce stress.7

Factors that help ensure a successful recovery include:7

• The amount of support a person receives from friends, family, and professional treatment professionals.

• Determination to grow personally and spiritually.

• The care provided in a professional treatment center.

Although medication is a helpful way to treat PTSD, it is always recommended as part of a larger treatment approach that includes therapy and other psychological interventions. Experiencing sexual assault can lead to problems later in life, both psychologically and physically. Because of this, it is best to approach therapy in a holistic manner that looks at the deep physical and emotional pain associated with sexual trauma.7

Research indicates that sexual-related PTSD may result in physical changes to the body’s most vital systems, including the neural, immune, and endocrine systems. When a person experiences intense psychological trauma, such as rape or sexual assault, the way their body responds to stress thereafter changes. This may cause an irregularity in the way cortisol (a primary stress hormone) is released in the body.Comprehensive treatment will address this and other issues that arise after a trauma.

Certain medications may be successful in helping to treat PTSD, including:

• Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).

• Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOI).

• Tricyclic antidepressants (TCA).

• Anticonvulsants.

• Serotonin antagonists.

Common psychological therapies that have proven effective and are commonly incorporated into PTSD treatment include:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

• Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

• Group therapy.

• Psychodynamic therapy.

One of the most important parts about recovery is empowering the survivor to take their life back. Strong support from family, friends, neighbors, loved ones, community centers, law enforcement, and medical professionals may better promote recovery and growth.

Survivors who share their sexual assault story with others run the risk of experiencing secondary victimization. So, if a male survivor tells someone who they are close to about their trauma and that person does not understand or show empathy toward them, it may increase a man’s feelings of self-blame, shame, and other forms of psychological distress.Coming forward and sharing your story of sexual assault takes an incredible amount of trust and understanding from the person you’re sharing with.

If a man or boy in your life experienced sexual assault, here are a few suggestions on how to support them:

• Actively listen.

• Validate their feelings.

• Don’t ask details about what happened.

• Let them know you are there for them.

• Help them find resources.